Ambient

Solidarity feels familiar every now and then.

It’s like an old friend visiting you in a timely manner.

It conditions you within the confines of the room.

You gaze through your window.

You find yourself joyfully basking in the afterglow.

You let it stay for a moment–solidarity.

After all, this is the only chance you get

to be reminded of his presence before he left this room.

Hello, you.

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Pretend game

People always lie

They lie about how they’re competent with their undone tasks

Or lie about things they ought to do but didn’t do

They work all their way through the top of the pyramid,

Without a single speck of honesty in their resumes.

They try to lure you with pure conviction that they are nothing but the best.

Convinces you they have boys running towards them,

Accomplished jobs or have closed-family ties drunken with euphoria on a Sunday.

You could see these things on their digital timelines or perhaps hear it on a Friday night catch-up.

But the truth of the real matter here is,

They go home on an empty bed.

An empty bed.

They wait and wait on stricken time for some guy’s reply until they fall asleep and zero signs of reply in the morning.

They are being bullied and struck by burnout in their 9-5 jobs.

And Sundays are spent on Chinese food and shitty dramas they find on television.

So what’s the point of lying to us?

We all know what’s really happening here.

What’s the point of lying to yourselves?

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Blind

The times that make you close your eyes,

Reveal the cravings of your heart.

I realised this when I did for a minute one morning,

Trying to smell the freshly baked bread our neighbour must have been making (maybe I was just imagining Pandesal!).

Or when waking up around 3 in the morning,

Trying to hear the rustle of leaves.

Shutting our sights unashamedly,

Guarding down our expectations, prejudices and inhibitions

Only wanting to feel

The surprises the comes with it.

So let me be blind for a moment,

Maybe I’ll find myself knowing what this heart really desires.

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Patience

At first glance he could be hers,
At first glance she should be his.
Tomorrows were endless,
To him, waiting was pointless.
Clock never stops,
Together their hearts hop.
Clock never agrees,
Of what their hearts could see.
Timing has its own unpredictable way,
As they breathe this away.

*fiction

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Why?

We keep on dreaming,
That is the answer why we write.

We keep on wishing,
That is the answer why we still hope.

We keep on trying,
That is the answer why we cry.

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Cynic

I heard you say you needed me,
I heard you say you wanted me.
But now it’s written it’d all be bluff,
And it’s now written you & I will keep.

I heard you say you’d marry me
I heard you say you’d be for real.
Was it all true?
Or am I just cynical?

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Meredith

We drank the emptiness of the frosty drink
The bartender never knew how awesome we are on this.
We stared at each others vision
Those windows we never dared tried opening.

But there it is,
Saw everything.
Our walls took years in building
Our white flags tumbled everything.

Now all I see is not the frosty drink
But the water in my vision.
After all, who am I to talk?
I’m just the girl at the bar without a frosty drink.

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Slammed.

She travelled away from everything
And she now found everything she’d wanted.
Like having those answers in her hands, (that)
She’d been asking from all those books she read.

Aside from the purpose she felt she knew
All she ever needed was herself.
A book collector she’d been dreaming.
A kitchen lord she’d been fantasizing.

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Closure.

I pulled out my 4-year old iPod from my knapsack,
Scrolled in circular and pressed to play, Flowers In Your Hair by The Lumineers.

The smell of freshly baked pandesal joined the breeze.
Buying in some without a pang of hesitation.
For the smell is always included into use for our taste buds,
How heavenly it is when the room smells like butter.

Then I saw you with a newspaper in your hand with a bag of pandesal in the other.
You gestured yourself with the bag by your hand
I smiled and said, “No, thank you.”
I turned my back and walked out of the bakery,
Setting the volume of the iPod to max when I got inside my jeep.

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